The Fear of Slowing Down

An article this summer in The New York Times quoted extensively from a research study conducted by Silicon Valley psychologist Stephanie Brown which refers to our collective fear of slowing down. Brown found that people who are alone with their own thoughts for more than a few minutes become agitated and seek any kind of stimulation they can find in order to avoid thinking.

“There’s this widespread belief that thinking and feeling will only slow you down and get in your way, but it’s the opposite,” she said.

Case in point: A study by Benjamin Baird and colleagues at the University of California, Santa Barbara, shows that daydreaming and fantasizing unleash fantastic amounts of creativity and allow people to problem-solve because they feel free to look at problems and challenges without deadlines and outside pressures.

Have you had a creative daydream lately? Would you like to? Here’s how to get started.

• Disconnect
• Compartmentalize
• Get fit
• Have fun

1. Disconnect. You can’t constantly be connected or you’ll become overwhelmed and overworked. Yes, that means turn off the electronics. Shut down the computer, the iPad, the Smartphone whenever your work day ends and don’t fire them up again until the next workday starts. If the world comes to an end in the meantime, someone will be sure to let you know. You might also experiment with a media-free day. No TV, radio, or video games. If a day (or night) sounds like too much, try it for an hour or two and work your way up to a day.
2. Compartmentalize. This means separating work time from play time, family time, and your time. Whatever your work culture dictates (9 to 5, 7 to 3), work those hours and only those hours. Don’t take work home at night or on weekends. When you’re working, give it your all. But once you walk out the door, transition immediately into a new mental and physical state. If you have a long commute, use the time to decompress rather than listening to the news or returning work-related phone calls. When you get home, shed your work clothes immediately and get into something that makes you feel casual and relaxed. Shift your focus.
3. Get fit. Exercise is a great relaxer of both body and mind. For one thing, a lot of it is fairly routine. You don’t have to think about how to run on the treadmill or maneuver the elliptical trainer. Let your mind wander. Better still, if you can run or walk outdoors, you’ll have plenty of visual aids to redirect your busy thoughts. A healthy body supports creative thinking. And fitness is not just about your body. Your mind needs to stay fit as well. The word “meditation” scares a lot of people because they don’t understand how to do it. It’s as simple as sitting quietly and breathing for 10 or 15 minutes a day. Let your mind wander and don’t try to control where your thoughts take you.
4. Have fun. Remember fun? Maybe you haven’t had any real fun since the fifth grade. But it’s never too late. Write out a bucket list of fun activities. (Hint: taking clients to a baseball game does not count.) Whether it’s whitewater rafting, taking a photography class or learning Italian cooking — get completely out of your comfort zone. Take one day a month off, just for you. Schedule at least one vacation a year, preferably two. And remember No. 1 above — disconnect completely when you’re having fun.

Take action now: Look carefully at the four items above. If you’re already doing one or more of these things, give yourself a pat on the back. Is there one you’re sure you couldn’t possibly do? Start there. Do it for a month, until it becomes a habit you can’t live without. Then move on to the next one. Notice how your mood, your relationships, and your creativity change.

Heed the words of art critic James Huneker: “All men (and women) of action are dreamers.” That could be you.

Written by Joel Garfinkle

What to ask employees about your leadership

Q. What is the most important question you can ask your employees about how well you’re doing as their leader?


1. Do you trust me?
I think trust is what binds every leader to their employees. Do you trust that I’m taking this company in the right direction? Do you trust that I have your best interests in mind? Do you trust that I’m working to keep this company successful? I believe that if they genuinely feel that they can trust and rely on leadership, they will strive to be their best as well. – Michael Quinn, Yellow Bridge Interactive

2. What could I do better?

True transparency and honesty at a company is fueled by feedback across the organization. These are two principles I try to instill in my employees and that I believe create a healthy work environment. I want my employees to feel comfortable enough to tell me what’s working and what’s not at the company from their perspective without fear of consequences. – Brian Honigman, BrianHonigman.com

3. How well do you understand the company’s vision?
Let the employee tell you in their own words your vision as a leader for the company. Ask them to describe how their contributions fit into achieving that overall vision. The answers you get are so revealing. It’s an open ended question. So if you get one word or very vague answers, it’s a red flag that you need to communicate your vision better and more clearly. – Joshua Lee, StandOut Authority

4. How would you review me?
Let your team review you. If you have enough employees, do blind reviews. You’ll learn a lot. If you don’t, ask regularly what’s working and what’s not and how you can help. – Basha Rubin, Priori Legal

5. Don’t ask
There’s no reason to ask this question. You already know the answer based on how happy your employees are and how well your company is run. Don’t waste time with this rhetoric. If you always have the best interest of your employees in mind, then you are a strong leader. After all, your employees are the core of your business. – Scott Petinga, The Scott Petinga Group

6. Would you work for this boss again?
We tell people in our company that if you want to be a leader, find people that want to be led by you. So the ability to build a team that wants to work for someone is a key indicator. I think it’s also key to ask people if they would work for someone again. If you get 100 percent yes, that’s a great leader — that is my goal even if someone ends up leaving. We also use this question in exit interviews. – Robert Glazer, Acceleration Partners

Don't let E-mail become E-fail!

If there was one area where I got hit hard at the beginning of my tenure as school leader, it was communication. The first complaint related to my style, which was seen as being too impersonal. I was heavily involved with my BlackBerry, texting and e-mailing regularly (even in meetings and while sitting in on classroom observations) to reach out or respond to various constituents. Though my objectives were lofty (I wanted to as readily accessible and responsive as possible), I was seen by some as being too digitized and distracted. This was, in part, because my predecessor rarely e-mailed. Nor did he text much or own a smartphone.

We all know the reasons that we type so many of our correspondences instead of write them down on a piece of paper. It’s often faster, it’s neater, and it can easily be saved and categorized for future reference without paper-sifting and clutter. Electronic communications can be shared far and wide and allow us to reach out and reply when it works for us, not having to be concerned as much with the other’s schedule and readiness to communicate.

Despite the many benefits of e-communication, it can also presents some meaningful downsides. These include:

1. Misinterpretation. So much of the way that we normally share information and ideas is based on nonverbal communication. Inflections, hand gestures, facial tone, body positioning and the like say so much about how each party is receiving and responding to each other, as well as their passion for the information and ideas being shared. Without hearing a voice or seeing nonverbal cues, people struggle to properly discern the intended meaning, tone, value and emphasis.

2. Impersonal touch. No matter how thoughtfully an email is crafted, its digital nature makes it feel distant and impersonal. You simply cannot compare the feel of an e-mail with that of a face-to-face chat or a phone call.
   
   
3. Raising the temperature. For most of us, distance makes it feel safer to “yell” or to be critical. We can more easily muster up the gumption to criticize when we are typing words on our personal keyboards than when we have to look someone in the eye and share our feelings. Furthermore, the prospect of instantaneous communication creates an urgency that pressures e-mailers to think and write quickly, which can lead to carelessness.
   
   
4. You can’t get it back. The quick nature of e-mail makes it easy to forget that our words actually matter and can really come back to bite us. (I suggest that you never send any e-mail with potentially negative implications without first showing it to one or two trusted colleagues). Not only must we worry about how our message will be processed “in the moment,” but there is a chance that it will be forwarded or printed for others to see as well.
   
   
5. Keeping your distance. Perhaps worst of all, e-mail, IM and other e-communiqués maintain distance between colleagues, sometimes even when only a wall or cubicle separate them physically. It’s often easier to fire off a response than to get up and share a few words. You may also want to not disturb your busy co-workers, especially if they are in another conversation or on the phone. While all of that is laudable, it’s important to not fall into the habit of remaining distant. Personal rapport keeps relationships strong, even in the face of conflict.

As our jobs involve working with and getting things done with people, we have to be able to build healthy relationships. This requires a healthy dose of ongoing, in person interactions, to get to know each other in real terms and how we each tick.

Naphtali Hoff (@impactfulcoach) served as an educator and school administrator for over 15 years before becoming an executive coach and consultant. Read his blog at impactfulcoaching.com/blog.

Building Joy into Brand Experiences

Tina Sharkey, angel investor and CEO of SherpaFoundry: Have you ever noticed that little lift you get when a product you use reaches out and makes you smile? I’m not talking about big guffaws or major life moments. I’m talking about little, quotidian things. Like when I stop at my favorite coffee shop and the barista knows me. He says, “Here you go, Tina, no foam. Tesora blend — and I included extra sugar, just the way you like it. Have a beautiful day.”

Or Lululemon. The athletic apparel brand leaves secret messages in the cuffs of its long-sleeved tops. When you pull the sleeves over your hands on a chilly morning, the message is revealed: Cold hands, warm heart.

These tiny joyful moments consumers have when they interact with a brand are extremely powerful. After all, the things that make us happy are the things we want to share. In today’s cluttered environment, marketing is not what a brand says about itself but what a friend tells a friend.

Even brands that are not about smiles and cute messages can unlock joy. For example, when you use the ridesharing service Uber to call for a car to the airport you can feel your anxiety slipping away as you receive the message, “Your Uber is on its way.”

Brands unlock joy by tapping into a precise moment of emotional need – cold on a morning walk, dreading a workday, stressed about transport – and transform the customer’s mood. The experiences I’ve described here were all designed to make the consumer feel a positive emotion exactly at the moment of engagement. And with a little forethought and insight, these loyalty-building moments can be incorporated into your brand or product experience by design. I call this “receptional design.”
Receptional design takes human-centered design one step further. It is real-time design focused on the very precise moment of reception.

 Receptional design maps the customer’s journey through receiving and interacting with a product or idea. It considers not just what we produce, but how it is received. Not just what we say, but how it is heard. Not just how we reach out, but how our touch is felt. Receptional design is about understanding where consumers are emotionally at the moment of engagement with your product.

Here are four “Joy Factors” to consider as you start thinking about receptional design:

The confidence factor. Take advantage of the social graph or the “wisdom of crowds” to make consumers feel confident and secure in their decision making. Sites like Amazon and Travelocity allow users to sort options based on other users’ reviews. This allows them to rely on those who came before, which gives them confidence and removes the feeling of risk. Providing reviews at the moment of purchase transforms the shopping experience from a state of uncertainty and doubt into state of confidence and mastery.

The surprise and delight factor. Brands can provide feelings of surprise and delight by reimagining basic functions using receptional design. Zappos will upgrade an order to one-day shipping, sending a congratulatory email to the buyer. For the customer, it feels great. For Zappos, it’s just part of optimizing their logistics and operations. The order happened to be placed in time to make the plane.

The transparency factor. Think like a chess player, always three moves ahead. What is your customer’s immediate need, what is her next need and what is her next need after that? A little transparency can go a long way, because it reassures us and addresses our fears. When you send a text message using iMessage, the experience is not just about sending the message – it’s about receiving confirmation that it’s been read. When you order an Uber, it’s not just about knowing your car is on its way — it’s about knowing who your driver will be, what his reputation is, how far away he is and precisely when he will arrive. Now you can relax!

The story factor. It’s no secret that great storytelling engages the emotions. But today, you don’t need a Madison Avenue agency or a billion-dollar budget to tell stories that connect with your consumers. Beepi, a new concept for used cars in the Bay Area (and a startup I invested in), is a good example. When you buy a Beepi, the car is delivered to your driveway wrapped in a giant bow. A friendly Beepi representative will explain the car’s control panels and special features. And before he leaves, he’ll snap a picture of you with your new Beepi, creating a lasting memory for you to keep for yourself or share with your friends on Instagram or Facebook.

When a consumer has an emotional connection with your brand, she makes the narrative of your brand her own. That’s when the magic happens and your story gets shared.

It’s not about the tweet, it’s about the retweet. It’s not about the pin, but the re-pin. It’s not about what a brand says about itself, but what a friend tells another friend.


Ms. Sharkey is the CEO of SherpaFoundry and a special partner at SherpaVentures, an early-stage venture-capital fund.

Be Open and Honest!

“To be persuasive, we must be believable; to be believable, we must be credible; to be credible, we must be truthful.” ~ Edward R. Murrow

One of the hardest talks that I had to give took place right before the beginning of my third year as head of school. It was at the back-to-school full faculty meeting and I needed to clear the air about an issue that was on many people’s minds.

The issue was me. Not that I necessarily did anything so terrible that required addressing. But I knew that our insular, largely veteran faculty was still struggling with the transition from their previous boss and the relatively new style of leadership that I represented. My message was simple and direct. I validated the feelings of those who continued to pine for a bygone era and let them know that I was prepared to do whatever I could to ensure the smoothest pathway forward.

After the talk, a veteran teacher approached me. He thanked me for my words and told me that I had said what needed to be said to acknowledge and validate. It was now time to move on to what we needed to achieve. And we achieved quite a bit that year, perhaps more than my previous two years combined.

The ability to take an honest look at a situation and take the necessary steps to rectify it — even if it means admitting error and/or acknowledging weakness – is crucial for leader effectiveness. Frequently, however, we see just the opposite occur. In many instances, our first response is to deny problems or mistakes or conjure up excuses to justify their occurrence. Nobody wants to appear as foolish or ill-informed. This is particularly true of leaders, who tend to feel that they must always act justifiably or lose credibility.

Fans of the 1970s sitcom “Happy Days” fondly remember the heroics and antics of Arthur “Fonzie” Fonzarelli. Fonzie was the quintessential cool guy, and always seemed to show up at the right time to save Richie and friends from trouble. But even the great Fonzie made mistakes, and when he did, he demonstrated a deep inability to admit his errors. The first two words, “I was,” came out without issue. When he reached the key descriptor, “wrong,” his face became contorted and pained. Try as he might (and he did try), the Fonz simply could not proclaim error. “I was wrrr-rrr-rrr” was as far as it went. Through comic relief, Fonzie exemplified a human weakness that is oftentimes expressed most deeply by those in positions of leadership and perceived strength.

Error is as central to the human condition as any other quality. We all make mistakes, and will do so every day of our lives. We must be willing to accept them, and have the self-confidence and integrity to admit it when we do. Our ability and willingness to do this, perhaps more than anything else, will allow us to build and maintain the trust of those we lead.

Business leaders routinely make decisions based upon imperfect information and judgment. They may get blindsided by a competitor’s response or underestimate the challenges in developing and selling products. Wholeheartedly accepting our errors, rather than avoiding responsibility or offering up excuses, limits potential damage and sets us on the right course.

What prevents leaders from apologizing freely, from owning up to mistakes and taking full responsibility for them? One contributor, no doubt, is the cultural axiom that leaders, particularly aspiring ones, should hide weaknesses and errors. However, we need to realize that it is not only healthy for leaders to admit their wrongdoings, but such practice can be a powerful tool for them, increasing their legitimacy among their co-workers. People need courageous leaders in order to feel there is someone to make the tough calls and to take responsibility for them; they need to know that the buck truly does stop with the leader. With a dauntless leader, people feel protected, knowing that the person in charge really has their back and will take ownership when things go awry.

Moreover, when practiced regularly, such admissions can help to build a culture that increases solidarity and openness to change, positive features of organizational life. And courage begets courage: followers are more likely to make their own tough decisions and to take responsibility for them when their supervisors model that same behavior. Have their backs and they will more likely have yours.

In terms of the actual apology, follow these rules in order to maximize its effect.

• Apologize sincerely. Saying “I am sorry” must communicate genuine regret for your behavior and a wish that you had acted differently.
• Take complete ownership. Avoid shifting the blame (“I apologize that you misunderstood me,” “I am sorry that you felt that way,” etc.). Doing so greatly diminishes the apologizer’s effectiveness. Stating that the other person was partly responsible for what occurred or for his hurt feelings places the listener on the defensive and causes them to consider you to be disingenuous and perhaps even accusatory. And that is no way to apologize.
• Avoid excuses. State your error directly, without justification. To the listener’s ear, excuses not only feel like an attempt to validate the wrongdoing, they may even sound like an attack, as if the plaintiff was inconsiderate to hold him accountable in the first place.
• State how you intend to fix things. Articulating your intent to correct matters, including an action plan of intended steps, will do wonders to convince the listener of your sincerity. It should be simple, realistic and detailed.
• And then follow through. Few things damage morale more than when a leader sets expectations for personal or organizational change and then does not follow through. In many ways, it is worse than not having apologized in the first place. When leaders do not act as promised, employees question not only their courage and will, but also their trustworthiness.

Written by Naphtali Hoff (@impactfulcoach) served as an educator and school administrator for over 15 years before becoming an executive coach and consultant. Read his blog at impactfulcoaching.com/blog.

3 Truths No One Tells You About Running a Business

There are issues entrepreneurs routinely face that you won't hear about in a business school classroom.

We all know the grim statistics about small businesses. One example: Ninety-five percent of the businesses that launch this year will not exist by 2019. I am convinced that this stat is caused by far more than a lack of money on the part of some unfortunate business owners. It's not business debt, and it's not the economy, either.

It is something in the mindset of these business owners. Some people just don't know what to expect when they start a company. So I thought I'd take a few minutes to share some truth.

1. Problem Solving Is Your New Job

You're going to encounter challenges and obstacles from the day you open your doors. You won't even be able to visualize these challenges before they land in your lap.

Some of these challenges will make you want to give up. And you will give up--if you don't accept the fact that your new title is "Chief Problem Solver." You have to get out there and attack your problems from every possible angle if you want to be successful.

If you aren't ready to jump these hurdles, your business is going to fail, even if you have an awesome new product, a plan to market it, and plenty of money to invest in your new business.

In any given month, I encounter problems that could easily drive any normal person to the brink of insanity. Remember all the office drama you used to avoid? It all started landing on my desk. It's going to land on yours, too.

Early in my career, I wasn't ready for this, and I almost quit, too. I wasn't sleeping. I felt like I was losing my mind. It wasn't clear yet that all of this was going to be worth it.

Now, after 10 years of running my own business, I welcome new problems. I now know they are a chance to grow my business, and grow my own skills as a business owner. You can come out the other side, too--if you prepare yourself for what lies ahead, and if you commit to embracing it.

2. You Get Paid Last

Trust me, it took me a while to grasp this one.

Your employees, vendors, contractors, landlords, and utility providers must all get their checks before you do. If there is anything left over when all of these checks are written, then, and only then, do you get to pay yourself.

You're out of business on the day that you can't pay all of these people. This is especially true if you have employees. If you miss even one paycheck, there will be an uproar in your office. You will kill morale, lose employee trust, and open yourself up to legal problems.

Failing to pay vendors and contractors on time is just as bad. It ruins relationships. The loss of these relationships will soon cause issues within your organization as you drop to the bottom of these people's priority lists.

And I don't think I have to tell you what happens if you don't pay your rent and utilities.

Just getting started? I promise it's going to be months before you ever see a check. Make sure you have money set aside to pay your personal bills during the lean months. Cut your personal expenses if you have to, because there is no way around this reality.

3. There Are No Vacations or Sick Days

You think you're working hard now? Wait until you start your own business.

You're going to get into the office early. You'll end up staying late and working through the weekends. You have to. You're now at the head of a machine that runs 24/7/365. People are depending on you. Until your organization grows, you'll be faced with enough work for literally seven people, or more.

I'm not exaggerating or pulling this number out of a hat. In my current company, we actually do have seven people doing the one job I took on when we started. I worked 12-hour days six days a week for more than two years.

So if you tell me you want to start a business because you're just working too hard now, please don't take it personally if I laugh. It is simply the laugh of someone who knows the truth.

BY LOGAN CHIEROTTI  @LOGANCHIEROTTI

5 Habits That Will Help Spark The Best Ideas You've Ever Had!

There's no magic trick for generating genius ideas, but these habits will have your creative juices flowing--with some practice.

 

What if whenever someone asked you a question, you had tons of innovative ideas waiting in response? You would be a hot commodity; who doesn’t want an ideas machine? Unfortunately for those who want this power, the science behind the eureka moment is tricky. While cultivating great ideas is a process that can’t quite be produced at a moment’s notice, you can get better at thinking in ways that open yourself up to inspiration and, hopefully, generating better ideas.

Below are some ways to push yourself to having the best ideas you’ve ever had:

1. Train Yourself To Think In “Crisis” Mode

According to author James Altucher, you need to be in a constant state of panic and up against the wall for your creative brain to really kick into gear. He writes:

“States of panic are special and have to be revered. Think about the times in your life that you remember--it’s exactly those moments when you hit bottom and were forced to come up with ideas, to get stronger, to connect with some inner force inside you with the outer force.”

The problem is, most of us are not constantly in this frenzy state (hopefully) so we can’t just come up with amazing ideas at a moment’s notice. So what do you do? Altucher says you have to train yourself to think in crisis mode and compares it to when a runner reaches the point of exhaustion, then miraculously discovers the “second wind” sometimes known as a “runner’s high.”
This high is the eureka moment when really good ideas happen, but to get there, you must be in good shape or you’ll never be able to push past the point of exhaustion. Similar to training your body, training your brain to think past this point of exhaustion, this “crisis” mode, is crucial.

2. Practice, Practice, Practice

To train your mind, you need to constantly be thinking of ideas even when you don’t necessarily need them. Altucher writes about his system:

Take a waiter’s pad. Go to a local cafe. Maybe read an inspirational book for 10 to 20 minutes. Then start writing down ideas. The key here is, write 10 ideas … a waiter’s pad is too small to write a whole novel or even a paragraph. In fact, it’s specifically made to make a list. And that’s all you want, a list of ideas.

Do this every day. Just like your muscles don’t start to build and form until your sweat, you also need to make your brain sweat by coming up with at least 10 ideas whenever you sit down for your ideas sessions.

3. Write Everything Down

In his book, A Technique for Producing Ideas, James Webb Young says that one of the principles of producing ideas “depends largely on the ability to see relationships.” Many of the thoughts we have throughout the day are bits and pieces of knowledge that are separate unless an “aha” moment links them. To get there faster, write every one of those bits and pieces of knowledge you think of down.
Once you’ve collecting your thoughts, your materials will be waiting when your brain is ready to make the connection.

4. Mix Things Up And Distract Yourself

When you need to come up with specific ideas for a problem, consider mixing up your usual environment. Rachel Sklar, cofounder of Change The Ratio and The Li.st, tells Fast Company she prefers to stay on the go so that her “brain can whirl without distraction.”
The distraction that happens when you mix things up is exactly what your brain needs when it comes to creativity, according to Harvard psychologist Shelley H. Carson, author of Your Creative Brain.

5. Let Your Mind Wander

When your mind wanders, you’re usually in a state of relaxation and this is exactly the reason why so many brilliant ideas happen during baths and showers. According to neurologist Alice Flaherty, these happy, relaxed times release dopamine in your brain and the more dopamine that’s released, the more creative power you’ll hold. Hence, showers, walks, and runs are prime times to have a eureka moment.

When considering the tricks above, remember that idea sessions, like everything else, take practice and process to make perfect. There’s certainly no magic formula, but a process can help your ideas flow more freely and help you make the connections you need to have more and better “aha” moments.

Article by Vivian Giang.

5 Tips for Off-the-Cuff Speaking by John Coleman

If it’s true that many people fear public speaking more than death, it’s equally true that businesspeople are condemned to a thousand small deaths in client pitches, in boardrooms, and on stage. And that death can turn slow and torturous when you are asked to speak unexpectedly with little or no time to prepare. One of the key demands of business is the ability to speak extemporaneously. Whether giving an unexpected “elevator pitch” to a potential investor or being asked at the last minute to offer remarks to a sales team over dinner, the demands for a business person to speak with limited preparation are diverse, endless, and — to many — terrifying.

I became more comfortable with these situations through one of my primary activities in college, competitive public speaking called “forensics” (from the Latin “forensis,” which means “in an open court, public”). In forensics, one of my favorite categories was “limited preparation” in which we were given between 1 and 30 minutes to prepare a 5–7 minute speech. The lessons learned in those limited preparation events have paid huge dividends to my work in business. They carried me through my first consulting case interviews right out of college. They’ve helped me address complex questions from bosses and board members. And they’ve helped me when I’ve been put on the spot to address college classes and new analyst training sessions.

No matter your position, they can also be useful to you. Here are a few of the tips I picked up along the way:

1. Define a structure: The pressure of extemporaneous remarks comes from their ambiguity. What do I say? What do I not say? The worst and most stressful business speeches are those that ramble without purpose. In forensics we’d tackle this issue by quickly drafting a structure on a notecard to support our main point — often an introduction, two or three supporting points, and a conclusion. With these on paper, it was easy to fill in the details with stories, examples, and statistics. Now, when I’m asked to offer unexpected remarks over dinner or at a board meeting, I grab a napkin, notebook, or the back of a PowerPoint deck and jot down my main argument and some key supporting points. Then I fill out the examples and data I need to make those points — usually in 20 words or less. Any ambiguity or tendency to ramble evaporates.

2. Put the punchline first: When I worked in consulting, one of the cardinal rules of communication was “punchline first.” Any presentation should have a clear thesis stated up front so that listeners can easily follow and interpret the comments that follow. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen business presenters ramble through a speech with the audience wondering to the very end about the point of the comments. Giving a good business speech is not like telling a good joke. Don’t save the punchline for the end.

3. Remember your audience: All it takes is a few lines to make an audience feel acknowledged and a speech feel fresh. Tie the city in which you are speaking into your introduction. Draw parallels between the organization you’re addressing and one of the stories you tell. Mention someone by name, connecting them to the comments you’re offering. These are small gestures, but they make your remarks more tailored and relevant.

4. Memorize what to say, not how to say it: How many times have you practiced exactly how to say something in your head then frozen up or completely forgotten in the moment? In forensics speeches, we’d often have 5–10 citations to remember, 3–4 examples with names and places, and 3–4 supporting statistics. That’s a lot to research and remember in 30 minutes or less. The trick was this: We’d focus on memorizing key stories and statistics, rather than practicing our delivery. If you spend your time on how to say something perfectly, you’ll stumble through those phrasings, and you’ll forget all the details that can make them come alive. Or worse, you’ll slavishly read from a PowerPoint or document rather than hitting the high points fluidly with your audience. If you know your topic, the words will come.

5. Keep it short: Blaise Pascal once famously commented, “I have only made this letter rather long because I have not had time to make it shorter.” While it seems like the challenge of speaking with limited preparation would be finding enough to say, the opposite is often true. When at a loss for words, many of us underestimate the time we need — cramming in so many stories and points that we run well over our time and dilute our message. No one will appreciate your economy of words more than your listeners, so when in doubt, say less.

There’s no substitute for practice in offering impromptu remarks, and there are many things to consider when preparing for a great talk. But mastering a few basics, like those above, can make these public comments less stressful to prepare and easier for audiences to hear.

How to be a Perfect '10' When it Comes to Sales!

Selling can affect your psyche.

Losing a sale makes us feel bad, closing a sale gets us excited, approaching an unresponsive prospect makes us uncomfortable. But our daily sales interactions can seriously affect how we feel. It takes a conscious effort to address those feelings. Addressing our emotions about selling can be difficult, but taking sales personally can be overcome with five seconds of guts. The five seconds of guts is used to consciously focus on your personal feelings of self-worth and reaffirm that your role as a salesperson cannot influence your personal value.

During a training session, I was discussing the difference between personal identity and role performance with the group. I asked a question that is challenging to answer publicly, especially in a group of peers. The question was, “So we know that on a scale of 1 to 10 we should view ourselves as a 10, but how many people in this room can honestly say in their heart of hearts that they are confident they are a 10 no matter how they perform their job?”

Only one woman in the room, Carol, had the guts to raise her hand. I was a little skeptical, thinking that Carol was just providing the answer she thought I wanted to hear. It’s rare that I come across a salesperson that has such confidence without putting a conscious effort into maintaining identity value.

So I said, “Carol, I’m shocked. I’ll often have people say 8 or 9 but it’s very rare that someone confidently says they are a 10. Why are you a 10?”

All eyes went to Carol. One person actually said, “Yeah, how can you be a 10? You’re saying you have no room for improvement?”

Carol didn’t wilt for a second. Her explanation has become a common way I describe mustering the guts to maintain a strong personal identity regardless of role.

Carol said, “I used to compete in gymnastics through college. Many times the competitions got really intense and lots of gymnasts really beat themselves up if they performed poorly. I did as well up until high school when something occurred to me. Before I start my routine I am a 10. As I finish my routine, the judges detract points for the errors I make. But after getting my score, no matter how poor it is, I default back to a 10 for my next routine. I’ve defaulted to that system in my sales career. I’m always a 10. Prospects and clients can detract points from how I perform, but I start the day as a 10 and I will start tomorrow as a 10.”

That is the essence of a strong personal identity. Even when performance is poor, it doesn’t mean that you as a person should feel that reflects on you as a person. Every morning Carol took her five seconds to reaffirm that once again she had defaulted back to a 10.

It’s critical to have a strong personal self image because we will perform consistently to the manner we view ourselves. Tens expect to perform like a 10 and typically do. Those with a lower self-image will lower their personal expectations because they feel they are incapable of performing as a 10. If we confuse our role performances with our values as a human being, our self-image will go up and down with each performance. We constantly work to bring our performance into line with that self-image. Without a 10 rating for our self-image, our role performance will be limited.

by Matt Neuberger, Matt Neuberger is the president of Neuberger & Co.

Score a Meeting with Just About Anyone

We’re all inundated with meeting requests these days. It’s easy to say no to the egregious ones, like the stranger who recently emailed me to suggest that I meet with him on a specific date so I could provide him with free career coaching. But — though I know better than to ask for pro bono resume critiques — I’ve certainly been on the other side of the equation at various times, having my meeting requests turned down or ignored altogether. In fact, most of us probably have; in an increasingly time-pressed world, almost no one has the leisure to connect “just because.”

Here are the strategies I’ve learned over time to ensure the people I want to meet are more likely to say yes.

Recognize where you’re starting. A good friend can easily drop you a line letting you know they’ll be in your city and suggesting a meetup. “You can write with a presumptive tone at certain levels of intimacy,” Keith Ferrazzi, the author of the networking classic Never Eat Alone, told me during a recent interview. “But you have to lead with certain degrees of currency when you don’t have that level of intimacy.” In other words, strangers should never presume that the other person wants to connect with them — that fact needs to be established first. So in your initial message, you need to give them a good reason (the “currency” that Ferrazzi mentions), which could be anything from a PR opportunity (such as interviewing them for your blog) to something you can teach them  (how to improve their search engine optimization) to the opportunity to connect with another guest they want to meet at your dinner party. Make clear the value proposition of getting to know you; otherwise, it’s far too easy for them to underestimate you and assume you don’t have anything to offer.

Start with a modest ask. An hour or a half-hour doesn’t seem like a lot of time. But if you’re one of 20 or 50 requests that week — which isn’t an uncommon number for busy professionals to receive — it can quickly become overwhelming. So don’t ask to meet for lunch; aim smaller, so it’s easy to say yes (a strategy I describe in “How to Land an Interview with a Cold Call”). I recently agreed to a phone conversation with one aspiring author who vowed in his email, “You must have a full schedule, so I will get to the point quickly and can keep the call to less than 10 minutes.” In the end, I didn’t speak with the author for 10 minutes; our call, which proved to be engaging, lasted 30 — despite the fact that I likely would have rejected a request for that amount of time. That’s the same strategy that well-known psychologist Robert Cialdini discovered in his early research on door-to-door fundraising campaigns for the United Way. Adding five words to the standard pitch — “even a penny would help” — doubled contributions. “Because how can you say no if even a penny is acceptable?” Cialdini told me in an interview for my forthcoming book. “We doubled the number of people who gave and no one [actually] gave a penny. You don’t give a penny to United Way; you give a donation that’s appropriate.”

Always find a warm lead. No matter how successful you are professionally, there are always going to be some people you’d like to meet that haven’t yet heard of you. The challenge is to break through and ensure they view you as a colleague — someone “like them” — rather than a stranger impinging on their time. Finding mutual contacts is one of the best ways to do it. Even Ferrazzi, known for his networking prowess, still has “aspirational contacts” he’d like to meet. In those cases, he says, “I leverage others to help with outreach.” Facebook, with its “mutual friends” function, makes this simple; LinkedIn — which charts connections out to the second and third degree — makes it even easier. Having shared contacts introduce you puts you on peer footing and gets your relationship off to the right start.

Just as sitting is apparently the new smoking, time is the new money. No one can afford to give it away carelessly these days. If you’re asking someone you don’t know for a half-hour, or even 10 minutes, you have to think of your request like you’re making a VC pitch. Why should they speak to you? How can you establish your credibility upfront? How will it benefit them? How can you pack the greatest ROI into the shortest time? If you can answer those questions well, you should be able to get a meeting with just about anyone.

Dorie Clark is a strategy consultant and speaker for clients such as Google, Yale University, Microsoft, and the World Bank. She is an Adjunct Professor of Business Administration at Duke University’s Fuqua School of Business, and author of Reinventing You: Define Your Brand, Imagine Your Future. Follow her on Twitter at @dorieclark.